I have not changed but my home has.
I have never been a fan of change. I’ve never been of fan of leaving home for very long. I’ve never been a fan of having company stay over for longer than three days. I’ve never been a fan of life changing much at all.
I am a home person. My home is my comfort, my place of refuge, and my fortress from the world.
I’ve realized in my almost 9 months of marriage that while my definition of “home” has changed, I have not. I am still the same girl who hates change and feels that my home is my refuge.
Before marrying Adam my home was a little 10 acre farm that I lived on with my Dad, my baby sister and my younger brothers. My four younger siblings were my home. I would have done anything for them (and, to be honest, I did), and as much as humanly possible, I still would.
I had been dating Adam for a month or two when he asked me if I was prepared to leave my siblings if he asked me to marry him. I told him no. It took time for me to understand that my family would be okay if I wasn’t there and it took time for me to understand that I would be okay if I wasn’t with them. It took time for me to understand that my love for Adam was greater than my fear of change.
Slow was the process that changed my heart and my view of home. My vows to Adam on our wedding day sealed that change forever.
Adam is my home. He is my comfort, my refuge, and my fortress. I’ve never felt safer in my life. When I’m away from him I miss him like crazy and part of me is missing when he’s gone. I don’t like to be away from him and I think that’s more than okay.