I recently wrote this post, “My Responsibilities as a Minister’s Wife“. But today I want to touch on something else I’ve realized in my 7-8 months of being a “Minister’s Wife.

Your Husband’s Calling is NOT YOUR Calling From the Lord.

The Lord has given your husband a very clear calling: to be a minister to His people; whether he’s the head pastor, youth pastor, music minister, children’s minister (whatever area your husband is serving in), that is his calling from the Lord. That doesn’t mean it’s your calling too (I’m not saying it can’t be your calling but I am saying most likely it’s not).

I’ve seen a lot of pressure put on minister’s wives to be more and do more than they can and I think a lot of women cave in those situations and try to be and do more. That’s wrong. It’s wrong for the people of that church to have those kinds of demands and it’s wrong for the minister to allow that kind of behavior towards his wife.

Ministers, you need to remember that when you made a vow before God to love and cherish your wife, part of that vow includes protecting her. And you may need to protect her from your congregation.

Wives of Ministers, it may be the hardest lesson you’ll ever learn, but learn to say, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t.” People aren’t going to love you or your family or your husband less if you say no.

Don’t get me wrong, women are called to serve their husbands and even to some extent to serve along side of them but when it comes to the church body and planning meals, serving in the nursery, sending cards to everyone who has a birthday, there has to be lines drawn. You can’t be everything to everyone especially if you have children. Your kids need you and everyone else can wait.

I believe my role (as a music minister’s wife) within the church body is to, first and foremost, serve my husband. I need to be his biggest source of encouragement. I need to be his biggest cheerleader. And I need to help him keep things in perspective when there are arguments about what type of music is best.

And then my role is to serve the body when and how I can. That doesn’t mean I’m a part of every single little thing going on at the church, but I am to serve.

Currently, since I am so new at the church I’m working to build relationships with people of all ages. I attend the monthly luncheon with the Senior Citizens. I attend the monthly “Refresh” night for the ladies in my Sunday school class. I show up at Easter Egg Hunts, and Secret Church, and basically, I build friendships. I know that at this point that is how I can best serve the Lord and Adam at our church.

You are called to serve as every Believer is but as a ministers wife you aren’t called to serve more than everyone else within your church. Remember your husband and your kids come before the church body. They are God’s first calling on your life as a wife and a mother.