At the beginning of my marriage to Adam I realized how selfish I was: single, only having to look out for myself.
My wants. 
My needs. 
My money. 
My time. 
Mine. 
Mine.
Mine.

I’ve had to change my mindset to “us” with all of those things.

Today I realized how selfish I still am even after almost 6 months of marriage. Sure I’ve changed my basic thought process since getting married but I’m still consumed with me, myself and I.

I have put MY life as the focus of my life. I’ve forgotten, neglected, shamed my first Love. I’ve put my physical life before Christ. It wasn’t hard for my own desires to give birth to sin as the Book of James warns.
Thankfully, I have a Savior Who loves me and desires LIFE more abundantly for me.

My struggles:
Change. I hate change. I’ve been working with the Lord to overcome this fear.

No family. No job. No friends….all huge changes.all very hard.
New town, new state, new people, new job, new church….all new.all different.all changes. 

Adam is constantly telling me to affect change where I can.

So I’ve been pursuing friendships. I have been making the first move. This is hard for me because I tend to be very shy at the beginning of a friendship.
But.I.Love.Coffee. And having coffee dates takes pressure off of me because I feel like if someone comes to my house it needs to be the perfect little American home. And I am far from perfect.

I pray that the Lord will continue to convict me as I strive to live for Christ. I also ask for prayer that I will keep Christ first. That I will put Adam above myself. I ask for prayer as I figure out how to enhance Adam’s life and not turn it upside down because of changes I want (but don’t always need).

I’m a newbie to marriage and need prayers.

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