I’ve been thinking about you a lot today. I miss you and wish you could be here. I often feel pushed and pulled into so many directions with this wedding and it would be nice to have you here to help guide me.
I’m headed into my last couple weeks at home. I’ve worked hard in helping Dad with your babies and with the house.
Honestly, sometimes my siblings feel a little like my own and I love them more than anything and the thought of leaving them breaks my heart. You gave birth to some *amazing* young men and an *incredible* young woman.
I try not to think about leaving since it makes me want to cry. Adam is my one and only and I want to marry him more than anything. But I worry about them even though I know they’ll be alright. They are all grown now and don’t need me. So I’m sure once again I am the one needing them more than they need me. They have stolen my heart and I’m going to miss them.
I’m trying to tie up my loose ends around the house. I’m painting the dining room. I hope to get to the kitchen and hallway before I leave in August. I’ve tried to paint every room as dramatic as possible. I remember how much you loved Mrs. L. B.’s house and her striking paint color in every room.
I’ve painted the hall bathroom a bright purple. Almost everyone comments on how bright it is and all I can think is, “Well, Mom would have loved it”.
I painted the living room a deep red. It’s definitely the defining feature of the room. And I’m in the midst of painting the dining room two colors. The wall has chair-rail wood trim and I’ve painted the wall above the trim a shimmering gold and the wall below a glistening bronze. I plan to have elegant burgundy curtain to bring the living room and dining room together. It will definitely be dramatic and I know you would love it.
I hope you are proud of the work I’ve done, the time spent, the love given. I’ve worked hard to fulfill your desire for me to care for my siblings. I hope you don’t regret prepping me to be home.
I pray I’ve given enough to my siblings. I was/am not always the best example and I’ve failed many, many times. But I do love them and I do want the best for them. I hope they know that.
I know the Lord’s plans are best but I wish with all my heart you were still here and were able to be here for my wedding. I love you and miss you so much.