Dos and Don’ts. Trust me you will want to read this if you are even considering online dating.
Do: feel comfortable contacting any of your matches that you find attractive. The men won’t always have you as a match so contact them. You never know what will happen and rules about the guys being the first to make contact don’t apply.
Do: feel comfortable closing any match at any time for any reason. You don’t even have to explain. If you find you don’t like you him (or her) then close it. There is a level of feeling disconnected with your match so don’t worry about offending or hurting their feelings.
Do: be yourself. This is no different than meeting someone in person.
Don’t: feel like you have to respond to everyone that contacts you. You don’t. If you don’t like what’s on their profile or they don’t fit with what you are looking for, then don’t even start talking to them. It will save you both time and frustration.
Don’t: give out your personal email unless you are completely ready to do so. Many sites have anonymous email for you to use. Communicate with your match through that email for as long as you need.
Don’t: agree to meet a guy without telling someone where you are going and when you plan to be back. I did not do this. Jesus protected me (there wasn’t even an attempt of anything, but still. I praise Him).
Which site to use –
Here’s my reasons why: Match.com is about getting one night stands. If you aren’t interested in more than that, then be my guest. eHarmony is about actually matching you with someone who has the same values. I truly believe they want to play matchmaker.
All of my good experiences have come from eHarmony. I believe yours will too.
On a side note, if you are looking for a farmer, go here.
Okay, once you’ve found a match and you feel okay about meeting him (or her), be prepared: you will most likely see friends you never see while on this date. It will be awkward. It will be embarrassing. You will be asked questions.
Face it. Friends are snoopy. They want to know who this new guy or gal is and why they’ve never heard of them before.
When I went on a date with Mr. Fail, he took me to Starbucks (he knew this was one of my favorite places in Wartown). I never see *any* of my friends at Starbucks. Never. Ever.
Wouldn’t you know the one night I’m on a date I see not one, not two, but FIVE of my friends at Starbucks. The two important ones being RG and Jared. They are my boys (whether or not they realize it!).
I blushed for a good twenty minutes after seeing them and explaining to RG that I had met Mr. Fail on Match.com. I wanted to find hole and stick my head in it with my butt straight up in the air like an ostrich.
I can almost guarantee you will have this happen to you. It will suck like nothing else. You might want to die. But whatever you do and no matter how you feel, (another Don’t!) don’t feel like you have to tell your friend how you met your date. If necessary discuss with your date before even going on the date how to handle this type of situation. Tell him (or her) that if it happens (and while you hope it won’t, you’ve had someone tell you it will) that you should just tell people mutual friends set you up. It will be the truth: the maker of the dating site is your mutual “friend”. I can promise you saying this will save you both from tons of embarrassment.
I think that’s enough for one blog. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I cannot be any more embarrassed than I already have been. 😉