Wow. What a long title. Probably too long. Oh well.
Last night I took a (much needed!) break from school and schedules and worrying about how I was going to make it through the semester. Everyone tells me this overwhelming sense of questioning if I can make it through the spring in one piece is normal. But I don’t really like it.
Studying is going well. I really like sociology. I just finished my reading for my Tuesday class. I love people watching and seeing what others are doing with their time so this is right up my alley!
English is kind of boring right now. But I’m sure it will pick up as the semester goes along. And I’ve yet to study for Public Speaking or French. But I can assure you that well before Tuesday I will have spent at least 2 hours on each subject. I have scheduled 24 hours of study time into my planner. We’ll see how well it really works next week.
One thing I’ve discovered, I cannot study at home. I love my family, but they are too distracting. I want to talk to them and be involved with their lives when I’m at home and that means I have a hard time actually concentrating. So that’s why I’m at Starbucks this morning. I’ve been here since 9:30 and it’s now 12:14pm. I like it. It has just enough noise to keep me going crazy from not having any noise (hey, you grow up in a household of ten and you’d need background noise all the time too), but no one talks to me so I can focus on my schoolwork. It’s perfect. Not to mention the coffee!! Ooh brother! Am I a happy woman right now! *big stupid grin*
Anyways, last night I went to the theater. One of my favorite things to do alone. Watch a sappy movie, in the dark by myself. I’m being completely serious. It’s a favorite past-time! I watched Bride Wars. It was soo funny! I laughed and cried. And then I got out of the movie and the longer the drive took to get home the more I thought about all the reasons why I don’t have a guy and all the guys who have liked me and why it never worked out. I cried on the way home. It was stupid. I had also figured out how I could get back together with a guy who once wanted to marry me and possibly still likes me. What is it about movies like that that make girls go crazy?! Because that’s what I was doing. Going crazy. It wouldn’t have worked with that guy. I mean, don’t get me wrong. He was a very sweet, godly, good looking man (and just the way I like men – tall, muscular and skinny!) with blue eyes and blond hair (I’m ok with the blond hair, but two out of the last three guys I’ve had a crush on have had blackish-brownish hair with blue eyes… Apparently I like black hair, blue eyed men! I think I have a thing for blue eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a guy with brown eyes. Isn’t that weird?!) and I liked him a lot. But it just wouldn’t have worked. Although he didn’t know it I was not the sweet and submissive woman he thought (I’m good at hiding things! *evil laugh* Ok, so the evil laugh might be a bit much… or maybe not!). I mean, I probably am more of the woman he would have wanted at the time (and probably still does desire) but at that point in my life I wasn’t and at this point there are other problems. So either way it probably wouldn’t have worked for us.
Don’t worry though. I’m feeling much more normal and much more levelheaded this morning. I don’t need a guy to make me feel complete and I know that one day a guy will show up and he’ll have my name written on his forehead for all the world to see… won’t that be interesting?! Seriously though, there is a guy the Lord has picked out who is perfect for me and I’m happy to wait for him.
Plus, I don’t know how in the world I’d deal with the commitment a relationship requires right now with school and trying to start Pampered Chef (more on my frustrations with that later). I’m way too busy and I know my siblings are going to think I’ve completely abandoned them! I promise I haven’t guys!
Interesting short series I’ve been reading this past week is from this guy – http://blog.andymerrick.com/. Really interesting stuff. And yes that one comment from a Lydia is me.
So Pampered Chef…. yeah. I ordered my starter kit well over a week and a half ago and it still isn’t in yet. I’m a bit frustrated. My goal was to have my first show this Thursday, but that isn’t going to happen. And this is going to be my source of income so I kind of need to start as soon as possible. So if you could be praying about that I would appreciate it!
So I know I purposely stopped writing blogs on MySpace, but I just have to say I miss all of you who would comment. But to those who followed me over here, I am so thankful! I love you guys! Well, this is all for now. I have an hour to study Public Speaking before heading to my hair appointment. I need a trim, but I’m still a little unhappy with my style so hopefully it will be cut to my satisfaction this time! I’m going to a new hair salon… I had two appointments in row of being very unhappy with my previous stylist. So I’m trying someone new. Should be interesting. Alright, I really have to go! I’ll write again later. Soon.